Pure and true…

It really is the small things that matter.

The kiss before he left for work.

The sweet moment right after you both wake up; when you look into each other’s eyes. Without a word, kiss them and think to yourself how you ever managed to fall for someone so unbelievable.

It’s reaching your foot over as your trying to sleep, and feeling your lover. And suddenly, a calm washes over you, and you can fall asleep again. Just knowing that they’re there. That they’ll always be there.

It’s after the most amazing sex, and you just lie there, exhausted, satisfied, and completely in love.

It’s the simple things, really.

The things you start taking for granted in the hustle and bustle. The things you forget when you have too much of, and then suddenly miss when they’re gone. That are so intensely beautiful.

It’s the moments in life that no one,  no where, no how could replace.

It’s the moments that make life worth it, that put a smile on your face when you cry. That make you remember that there are some things in this world that no money could by, that no words could describe.
That there is always love. In the dark, in the bottomless, emotional pits, there is always more love than you dare to think about.

That. That is what it’s all about. That’s what they meant when they invented the word, Perfect. Sublime. Pure.

Yes, it’s those moments when you’re in even the darkest of holes that pull you out. That bring you to a place where you think, ‘I wouldn’t trade this for the world.‘ Even as imperfect as it may be sometimes.
And it’s only going to get better..

Round ligament what?

This pregnancy thus far has been a pretty easy one. Very rarely do I hurt, or feel anything other than those wonderful bubbly movements (that are getting so much stronger every day! You go girl!) I’ve had to be more conscious of my growing belling when I’m getting up and sitting down. And I cannot be as flexible as I was before, as my belly gets in the way.

But today, I don’t know WHAT happened or why, but OUCH. As in, I cannot move. And if I do? Oh please, oh please make it stop.

I laid down, drank a huge glass of water, and tried to rest it away.

No dice.

I got up, even though the slightest movement of my legs hurts. Any use of my lower abdomen hurt.

I got up to fix myself something to eat. Raisin toast.

I ate it, drank a large glass of milk. Hoping that I could eat it away.

Nope. Not even a relief.

So I fell asleep.

Woke up.

STILL no relief.

What. The. Eff.

It finally went away after about 2 1/2 hours of pain every time I moved or used my lower abdomen.

It felt like a side stitch I used to get when I ran Cross Country when I was out of shape.

Then, I picked up my What To Expect book, and was flipping through this month. It said that it’s called Round Ligament Pain. And that it hurts, and I did pretty much what I was supposed to to get it to go away as soon as possible.

I’m assuming that since I haven’t had any ‘growing pains’ what-so-ever so far, that my body was catching up on what it hasn’t been doing all this time.

Does that mean my belly is finally gonna start looking pregnant, and not just like I’ve gone on a 4 1/2 month doughnut binge?

Week 18

Hello My princess..

This week… Whew. What a week.

We started out this week with a doctor’s appointment. At which I got to hear your heartbeat again. It was so LOUD that she had to turn you down! And then you moved. Like you do. I’m beginning to think you don’t like attention. (You’d better get used to it! You’re the first great/grandbaby and those people are gonna shower you with so much love and adoration.)

My nurse said, “Oh, we got a runner.” And your daddy said, “Well, just like mommy then!”
I almost cried. I was overwhelmed with so much joy and pride and love that I just couldn’t hold it in, and almost burst into simultaneous laughter and tears.

Then we got to see you, 2 days later. Your Nini and Aunt D were there when we found out that you’re gonna be a girl.
So wonderful. Your daddy and I were both ecstatic.

To be honest, I kind of already knew that. I was just so excited to get confirmation. I knew from the time I knew I was pregnant that you were a girl. Don’t ask me how, I just knew. People kept telling me you were a boy, and I mean a LOT of people. Everyone but a select few kept saying boy.

I just stayed silent, and remained about 51% sure that you were a girl. And as the days ticked down to finding out, I just became more and more certain.

Exactly like I was when I first got pregnant. A few weeks out, before I could find out for sure, I was only certain enough to take an educated guess that I was indeed pregnant. But by the time I took the test, it wasn’t even that big of a surprise anymore. I just knew…

Your daddy is so happy you’re a baby girl.  He’s practically glowing when he talks about you. It’s definitely become more real for him now. Last night, he came home and asked how you were doing. I almost ate him up, it was so cute. He’s not just thinking about ‘me’ having a ‘baby’ anymore. He’s thinking about you, and us, all three of us.

This week has just been more of the same.
You’re supposedly hovering around 5 1/2 inches and 5ish ounces. But who knows, they didn’t tell me anything about your size during the Ultrasound. You’re starting hear things now… like our voices and loud music. But I have yet to feel you react to anything.

As for me, My back hurts more than it did. I have this pain in my lower spine if I sit upright or stand or walk for too long. Which leaves me to a lot of lying down.
On my side. Which is unfortunate, because I, for whatever reason, am a gillion times more comfortable on my back. I don’t know why.
But I’m not supposed to lie on my back. It compresses blood flow to my uterus, and that’s not good.

But it seems to be the only way I can get comfy. So, I often find myself in that position, and have to turn and correct myself. Bah.

My legs are going crazy. Heartburn is just as awful as it has been for the past several weeks. And I have snot/phlegm like none other.

But honestly? Even though I’m not exactly the most comfortable of human beings, I feel pregnant. And I’m loving it.
My belly’s starting to pooch, and you’re moving a lot more now. I feel you tons every day. You definitely have days where you’re more quiet, but even then I feel you a few times. And then there are days where you’re definitely active, but it’s still those gentle, sweet nudges. Nothing uncomfortable, or even violent.
You’re just in there moving around like a ballerina, or maybe a soccer player. Whatever you choose to be.

But I’m definitely in the honeymoon of pregnancy now. I love being pregnant. I love this journey, and the fact that I get to go through it with your father. I love my growing belly, and I love you.

Seeing your beautiful face, It was all that I could do not to cry. You’re so beautiful, and perfect. My baby girl.

I love you so much.

Love forever and always,

Mommy

Christmas has never been this awesome

My sweet baby… GIIIRRRLLLL!!! (I literally cannot type that word today without repeating letters and all caps)

Hey, you. You did exactly like I asked, you were DEFINITELY not shy about your girly parts. The US Tech kept saying, “Oh, and she’s showing them to us again!”

You weren’t in the waving mood. I didn’t get the cute little hand, and you barely wanted to show us anything that we wanted to see (Other than the important). She kept having to search for your spine, for your heart, she had to look hard to get a good view of your head.

You did however have 1.) Your legs crossed. Which, was the CUTEST thing in the entire world. Seriously. ADORABLE. And 2.) You had your hand by your face, like you were sucking your thumb.

And by the end of it? You’d flipped over completely.

My due date got changed, from July 5th to July 3rd. So, you, little munchkin, are OFFICIALLY  going to be here in 5 months!!
On a journey that started out at 280 days, we are now at 150 more days.

Previously, I thought the point, the only important part of today was going to be finding out what you are. And while that was a definitely an important part, I grossly underestimated how amazing it would be just to see you, to watch you.

There you were. In all your beautiful glory. Moving, and twitching. Waving your hand in front of your face. You were perfect. In every single way.
And now, looking back on it, That was the best part of the ultrasound. Finding out you are a girl was very minor to getting to watch you for the better part of an hour.

When we got home, I admitted to daddy that I’d teared up a little, wondering if he (or his family) had noticed. He readily admitted that he did too.

You’re so beautiful and perfect. And so loved, already.

I think there’s still a part of me that can’t believe that you’re actually in there. That I am almost halfway to getting to hold you, to nibbling your leetle toes.

But it definitely became more real today. You became more real.

My happy, healthy baby girl.

I love you,

Mommy

Christmas Eve

Tomorrow is Ultrasound Day. I’ve been doing my best to not think about it, or when I do, I convince myself that baby will have its legs crossed and I won’t get to find out for ANOTHER 20ish weeks.

Cause,  my kid would totally do that to me.

E had to remind me today.
“It’s tomorrow!”
“What’s tomorrow?”
…
“Ohh! Oh yeah..”

So, suffice it to say that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of keeping it out of my head.

Dear Future Child of mine that’s growing inside of me..

Please be a good boy/girl tomorrow and don’t hide from us. Your slightly (SHUDDUP! Don’t say it!) eccentric mother desperately needs to know what you are tomorrow.
I mean, I may or may not have already threatened bodily harm to the nurses if they didn’t make my appointment. PUH-LEASE don’t let it all be for naught. Please?

Love you bunches!

Momma