Dear You,

Dear Sherri Shepherd,

Pretty please stop talking. You’ve done this once, please just save yourself, and your dignity and Just. Stop. Talking. You’re doing your country, your religion, and your family a great disservice if you ever open your mouth up again.

kthxbai

A Concerned American.

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Dear myself of 6am this morning,

DEAR GOD go to bed. For the love of all that is good and right, PLEASE GO TO BED. You’ll regret it when you have to wake BF up at 9am and you’ve only successfully gotten a good 1-2 hours of sleep.
Nobody is updating their blog, and whatever you can StumbleUpon now, You’ll be able to in the morning. GET THEE TO SLEEP.

You stupid asshat.

Yourself from Noon-thirty today. (The one that’s having to live with your lack of foresight.)

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Dear BF,

I won’t be seeing much of you for the next 5 days, but OMIGOD I love you and you’re so smart you’ll manage to come from behind and pull a few A’s, but definitely a B or a C out of your ass. You’re just that great.

I have faith, in you.

GF

P.S. How ’bout when everything settles down after finals, you and I umm…do that thing. That one that we used to do before school and family took over our lives. And, I have an idea! What about a DATE! My treat! <3

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Dear My Crazy Cat,

PLEASE stop meowing at EVERYTHING. I am telling you, THERE IS NOTHING on the wall. Or the couch. Or your sister. And ESPECIALLY nothing on my foot. NOTHING. You don’t see it, you just think you do and therefore need to run around and scratch and go in the other room and meow inexplicably and PLEASE stop. Momma didn’t get much sleep, so please. If just for today, please delay your crazy antics. Just for today. For me? (Okay, I knew that wouldn’t work. How about you do it for YOU. Because if you don’t stop, you’ll be making friends with the cats that have no home.)

Love Muchly,

Momma

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Dear Santa,

I’ve been patient ever since I started blogging, but PUH-lease. I’m pretty sure I’m the LAST BLOGGER. EVER. Not to have a digital camera, or any camera for that matter. And? I want this one. I’m not looking for anything flashy, Santa. And let’s face it, we’re poor and can’t quite afford anything else. But I just want something so I can show the world how my cat makes the PURRFECT (hehe..I am SO effing clever.) LOLCAT.

I’ve been good all year.

Heart you,

Your little Elf…

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Dear Readers,

I heart you guys. I heart reading your blogs, I heart your comments. I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll say 100 more times. I HEART YOU!!

XOXO.

Queen Bee

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Dear guy at the bar last night,

No, I do not want to go to Popeye’s with you, even as tempting as the offer is. Thank you, I realize I’m cute. And Yes, I do realize you’re putting yourself out there, only to learn that my ring isn’t an engagement ring, but rather a promise ring, and therefore you are being turned down.
But do you really think that trying to argue with me the precise meaning of the ‘promise ring’, and trying to convince me that a man you don’t even know doesn’t REALLY want to commit to me is the best course of action? Really?!

You’ve got lots to learn pal,

The Girl that you asked out, but who am I kidding you were so drunk you don’t remember.

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Dear LOLCATZ,

Heart U. Muchliest. Soemtiemz, ur teh onlee thing that maekz me smilez. U R mah cumfoort.

But seriously, I’m not THAT much of a lolcatz fan. I mean. I’m um..not crazy or anything.