Dreamy.

• Last night, I dreamed that all of my dreams came true.First, that Barack Obama won the Democratic Primary, then went on to win the election in November. And everyone loved him, and he was everyone’s candidate. Democrats, and Republicans. And he did a great job.And there were no blow job scandals. No pointless wars. Only a good economy, a good education system. A good everything!
• I also had a dream that…That B proposed to me. And the ring was gorgeous, and the way he did it was the most romantic thing ever (Though, of course, I don’t remember it.) And we were planning the wedding, and we agreed on pretty much everything.And when I woke up? I wasn’t jealous, and didn’t want to go look at my wedding magazine that I may or may not actually own.
  It was this weird feeling. Like I didn’t question any longer that if it will happen, I just knew (and still know) that it will. Like it’s suddenly a fact of life. And it feels good.
  And it made me realize that I am so not ready for marriage. I’m still young, not even 22 yet! (I know I say this stuff all the time, but you wouldn’t believe how often I need reminding!) I just showed me that it will be worth it to wait. Everything will happen in its own time, and when it comes? It will be everything I’ve dreamed of, and I will be ready to enjoy it and take it all in.

  I’m just not ready yet.

• Speaking of being patient and not wanting to rush the future…
  For a while now, I’ve been throwing out names to B to see if he likes them. But I just toss them out there like, “What do you think of the name ________.” Like, it could be for a child, or it could just be me asking his opinions on names, for no reason at all. And he always says no to the names I like.I have to tippy-toe around mentioning marriage to him, I won’t even hint at kids yet.But the other day? I was telling him this story about how his sister and I were laughing about guys and how our boyfriends are huge nerds, and how I told her that I could totally see him being in the delivery recovery room (What do you actually call that, I am such a noob in this area). And I could legitimately see him on the laptop while I’m holding the baby trying to email pictures out, or something. He is such a nerd with that kind of stuff. (I don’t even know if laptops are allowed in hospitals.)

  He actually laughed. I was trying to beat around the bush and say stuff like, “When I’m in the place where you push those little people out of you, where we won’t be for a million years.” And he was like, A baby in a hospital?
  And he just started talking about having a baby like it was no big deal.

  Maybe I give him too little credit for being able to deal with that kind of stuff. I actually think he deals with it better than I do. But to give you an example of how he thinks, he was the one over Thanksgiving break, when we were playing Taboo…
  The word to guess was “Surprise” and the girl having trying to get them to guess the word had had a baby 2 years ago out of wedlock.
  So, she said, “When I found out I was pregnant with Chevy, he was a ____” And B yelled out “MISTAKE”

  Yeeeaaah.
  That’s the man I’m dealing with here! So, how was I supposed to know that talking about us having a baby one day isn’t a big deal!

• I applied for what we’ll call “Perfect Job.”
  I have never wanted a job this bad in my entire life.
  Perks:
  • Free school. Up to 12 hours.
  • Better pay. By a lot.
  • Less distance to drive to work. Meaning less spent on gas each week.
  • Better benefits. Such as, This thing they call “Sick Days” I don’t know what they are, but they sound pretty good though. And health insurance I don’t have to pay out of pocket for.

  It’s pretty much perfect. I mean, no job is perfect. Except for this one.

  I tried the no talking about it method, now I’ll just spill it out so that maybe I can help change my luck.

• I went shopping last Monday. I think I’ve found the expression that could accurately describe how it went.
  I was like a “fish out of water.” It was so weird looking for stuff, for me, and a whole day devoted to me. And trying on girly stuff, with bows.
  I like to think I have a cute style. I can certainly pull of cute when I want, but I’m mostly casual. Very, very casual.I had to ask my 17 year old future-sister-in-law how to dress professionally. And I’ve been out in the ‘workforce’ for 4 years! What’s wrong with me!
• But I did find this heavenly dress that was just entirely too expensive. I loved it. I looked great in it. It fit, It hugged, and when I couldn’t buy it?
  I mourned.

Well, I suppose that’s all for today. That’s a pretty good update. Not too bad.

Anyone need a hug? ‘Cuz…

I gotz ‘em.